Random musings

Boys are like slinkies. Pretty useless; but fun to watch fall down stairs.

Curiosity was framed. Stupidity killed the cat.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does make a more pleasant form of misery.

"Good morning" is a contradiction of terms.

The real trouble with life is that there's no background music.

Anyone who says something is "as easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

If you try to fail, but succeed, which have you really done?

You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice-cream, which is kind of the same thing.

I do not obsess, I think intently.

It's you and me against the world - we attack at dawn.

Sometimes I'm off in my own little world. But it's OK. I like it there.

If you wait around for a guy to save you, prepare to wait a while. Look at Sleeping Beauty.

Best friends - the people who know the real you and love you anyway.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.

My mates are better than yours. Yeah. Be jealous.

I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous.

Which one are you?

I was watching "How I met your Mother" the other night and the episode was about people being either Reachers or Settlers in relationships. I was wondering how that applied to life outside relationships. And then it struck me. There are so many many ways to see that.

For instance, the one that occurred to me first, is how we deal with change. Accepters and Whingers. There are those who understand that it is a good thing, and always inevitable and there are those who pout, sulk, stomp and whinge when it happens (This is where you picture me) even if they are accepting of it, on some level or the other. I know change is the only constant, but it does not mean I have to like it.

I am a huge person for comfort zones and when change happens, I like it to be vast, graphic and with many bells and whistles to accompany it. Also, I would like the dynamic to stay the same. Irony. Maybe I only dislike when it involves things changing degree by slow degree. When the change is big and all encompassing, the novelty of it distracts me from my initial fear of what might come next. Because, I have learnt, fear is what makes me react the way to it. I cling to what is old, to what was, and to what might never be again. Even when it affects people other than me. People who are important and precious and treasured. All the people I love to bits.

I cling to the feeling these past tenses gave me, because it reminds me of times that were happy and shiny, varnished even brighter with the brush of time; and I know that it is selfish. While I dislike this about myself, I know it is something I will grow out of. And so I wait for this to happen. In the meantime, I smile and and happy for the ones who accept change, initiate it even, so much better than me.

What's your weirdest memory ?

I have always assumed I am slightly weirder than normal people because I remember, well... weird stuff. Like the texture of a dress I owned at the age of 2, and the exact smell of the aftershave my dad used when I was about 2 or 3. And my mother's gold hoop earrings she inherited from HER mother. I remember the shelves of a cabinet and what was on them in a house I visited more than 10 years ago. But go ahead, ask me for my car keys, or if I know where I put them, or even what I ate for dinner last night.

I can clearly picture a pair of sneakers my mother bought me when I was 10, and can also recall the fact that no matter how I laced them up, the right shoe always had the laces uneven. Dad had to do it for me. I know in exactly what order my dolls had to be put in. The smell of the box when I was bought my first pair of heels. Unfortunately I can also clearly recall the taste of Epsom Salts (bleargh) and Castor Oil. I remember Mum's instructions on how to make chocolate cake and have never needed a reminder, but when I need to stick something in the pressure cooker, I am constantly checking with her how long it needs to sit.

I remember stories and songs my Nana put me to sleep with, and yet I fumble with a document I put together myself a few hours ago.

So maybe this is curiosity, but what is YOUR weirdest memory?

Age is just a number... right?

I have aged. Gone old. Ancient even.
The proof lies in the events of this rainy morning. I got to work, late as usual. I park, get my stuff together and get out, as usual. I lock my car and double check the fact, as usual. And here is where some celestial monkey threw a spanner in the works. As. Usual.

I leave the car and start to walk to my building and the extraordinary happens. I hear a whistle. The wolfy kind. Now, 'back in the day' this would have resulted in one of two reactions from me. Completely ignoring the perpetrator, or a dirty look at a repeat offender. Today was a completely different kettle of fish... (I use it, but never realllllly understood the reason for this saying. Why the hell would anyone put fish in a kettle?)... As I was saying, fishy kettle - because my immediate and first reaction was -"Kids these days!"

Kids ?!?!?!?
What the HELL ???

And this is where epiphany struck. Age has caught up with me. Sigh.
At the ripe old age of 24. Double sigh.

Depression and general gloominess descended and I don't even remember the face of the little perpetrator (I think I like that word - it rolls off the tongue). A conversation with Pumpkin's mummy however, has made me feel better. After talking at great length, we have decided that age is just a number, and your true 'age' as it were, is how old you behave. With that conclusion, I have realized that I am probably 3, 4 at the most, and life is all pretty again.

Ahh, how easy it is to make me happy. :)

Technophile-o-phobe

New technology. Phones in specific. My first reaction to a new phone is usually "OOoooh shiny new toy" which is promptly followed by... "No wait... I can't get rid of my old phone... not when I love it so much" and then there is the guilt, yes actual guilt, of trading in my old phone or switching to a new one.

I am convinced that there is a name for what this is, and also possibly a method of treating it. But I don't really want to find out.

I am happy with my shiny new phone and guiltily steal a glance at my old one tucked into my dresser, and tell myself that it is not a living object and therefore unable to make me feel guilty. But I still can't help that little feeling of niggling doubt when I exchange the comfortable for the new and untried. Switching forms of technology or even switching brands makes me unsure and very cranky until I have it all figured out. So if anyone out there has a good online guide to curing ridiculous misconceptions towards certain phones, please send it over and hope for a miracle :)

Missing Persons...

I miss people. Terribly at times. People I love, People I lived with, People I went on a trip with, People who made me laugh, and sometimes, I even miss the people who made me cry. (Although, more often than not, I miss the latter because I have figured out something to say to them that would make them cower in fear :P)

First, I miss the easy going camaraderie I had with my friends in school. Although we are still friends, I have lost the ability to be as close to them as I was back then. Living away for so long, and then the changes that inevitably happen, have all contributed to making the memory of that closeness, all the more precious.

I miss my roomies. I definitely, definitely miss them more than most others I have known. From doorway conversations, to Pizza Corner and our preferred orders. From coffee at bed time to long, seemingly pointless conversations. From Road No. 10 to MT. I think about late night walks in the rain and wonder 'what the HELL were we thinking' and then I realize the beauty of it was - we weren't... not really. Little things like that. I <3 you K & N.

I miss my temporary roomies too.. the ones I spent 3 months with, apart from the ones I spent 3 years with. and what an unforgettable 3 months it was. People at the Big G, compatriots at -1, secret balcony events, dinner buddies - how do I think of them all?

TenD: after 3 and a 1/2 years, how could I not miss TenD. A love affair that started with 'I never' and a road trip, was nurtured by the real 10D and Firangi, and lived at one extremely large table in the cafeteria. We lived through make-ups and break-ups, being set up and then setting up, surprise parties and nasty shocks too. Its amazing the bonds you forge in one night of complete madness.

I miss my fiance` too sometimes. Not the person he is now, because obviously, I have him and I also get to keep him :P ; but I miss how he could be when we first started dating. The days when everything was shiny and new, and the future was still a big uncertain cloud.

And while I miss allll these people and wish for snatches of what used to be, I sit back, smile smugly to myself at my good fortune to have had them in my life, and then grin at the fact that I still have them. :D

Laid to Rest...

After ages and ages, I finally got around to laying off another blog I used to write. It is still bouncing around the blogosphere, but I no longer want it displayed on my profile.
I was reading it the other day and was taken aback at the super powerful emotions I had going on every time I did any writing on it. I am also amazed I didn't self-destruct with all that pent up inside.

4 years later, I am so much happier now and so proud to say it. I don't want to delete the other blog because it was such a huge source or outlet for me to get rid of everything I didn't talk about. So while it exists, I am comfortable with it no longer being visible. A friend recently blogged about anger and how it felt. I think that my old blog's job as my punching bag has been done, and done well. Now that all is well, I can bid it farewell, and say Thank you!

Randomness - the sequel

Pretty optimistic aren't I? I have not even done half the things I planned to do on my last list and now I am making another one. Oh joy!

1. Find and Join a kickboxing program in this city I live in.

2. Do an all-girls road trip. Despite the misgivings of assorted fiances and other halves.

3. Write and attempt to get published a novella I have had sitting in my head for the past few years. Bullying might help me get it out.

4. Take a solo holiday before December. It will be my last chance for one. A weekend will do.

5. Set up two of my friends. With each other. Or not. :)

6. Cause a major blow-out for a bitch who deserves it.

7. Take a months sabbatical.

8. Learn to make a dish following the recipe word for word and not giving into my usual penchant to "...find out what happens when we throw a little bit of this in..."

More to come...

OMG! I''m Telekinetic !!!

So there I was, driving to work, like any other day in the week. Late as usual and swearing a blue streak at every idiot who did something stupid to delay me further. I was just pulling away from a signal and this old geriatric decided to be Rossi for the day and swerves right across my lane. I was so angry I could have killed him myself, but just as I shrieked an inarticulate curse at him, his bike just shut off. I mean died completely. Right in the middle of the road. Deciding that the Gods chose today to smile upon me, I grinned smugly to myself and carried on my not-so-merry way.
A bit further on, and another cretin takes it upon himself to hurl his shiny new car right past me, trying to make the signal before everyone else. Dumbass. Again, my curses barely left my lips when BANG! his tire blew. At this point I am looking around warily, because my car is practically soundproof. You can't hear my swearing unless you are in my car, so I decided that whoever was listening to the evil things I was wishing on these fools, was of a different auditory persuasion.
Calming myself down, I was in the home-stretch when an Auto - as all motorists know, are the bane of anyone's existence - drives right across my path, meaning I need to slam on the brakes to avoid killing the wa***r, when CRASH! a huge branch from above, just comes crashing down onto the back of the auto, going right through whatever fabric they use to cover the passengers. Thankfully, there seemed to be no passengers at that point.
It was right about this time when I decided the collective goings-on of that drive to office was enough to spook me, and I ran for the proverbial hills. I got to office, snuck into my desk, as if I was afraid someone would blame me for all of that happening. And then spent an hour in quiet reflection. OMG, what if I really was Telekinetic... I would never have to do much of anything again. With the arrival of my coffee, came reality as well.

Oh well, if those were all just coincidences, then at least I was amused for just that little bit of time. It didn't help that my colleague to whom I told my terrifying tale, laughed like a loon and then asked if I would mind cursing a few people he would point out. Hmph.

Opinions needed...

For the first time I am asking questions in this post that are not rhetorical. I want answers and I would love if you could send them to me, either as a comment here or by email if you don't want them to be public.
I started to write this story I had floating in my head and then sort of abandoned it 3 paragraphs in, because I didn't like the characters. Not one little bit. Even though I was the one who thought of them. And then I felt indifferent about them. I couldn't care less if they jumped off a cliff I hadn't written about, or killed themselves by hanging, from the barn I hadn't pictured until that thought struck me.
So what I would like is for you to give me a character you want written about. This is solely for my own amusement though. If you could give me a name and a vague profession, or maybe a characteristic that you think someone like that should have. Like a Mr. Larabee who is a kindergarten principal. Maybe he has a twitch or a nervous tic because he truly believes that Calvin (a la Hobbes' Calvin) will be enrolled next year.
Something... Anything.
I just want to write about something again, because my past few posts have been about nothing but annoyance, anger and all out rage. I worry for my mental health and blood pressure, unless I revert to my favorite form of therapy.
Thank you much.

2012 can't come soon enough

While driving to work this morning, I had this sort of mini-epiphany. You know the Mayans and their calendar, and all the end of the world stuff we have been talking/hearing about?
I think there might be some truth in it... maybe our world deserves to end.
Before you condemn me as a blasphemer, my faith itself makes it hard for me to believe the kind of atrocities we human beings visit upon ourselves.

Can you think of any other living beings, hunting entire species into extinction for their own amusement? Or destroying a whole other culture/civilization, in order to have the best wall hangings?
Where the hell do we get off with this?

Oh yeah, the tigers are the ones polluting our water so much, that fish are dying whole scale. The elephants are the species hunting the dolphins into near extinction. Oh I almost forgot - the killer whales are the ones imprisoning human beings in tanks the size of a coffin.

If animals were not created in small tanks, or barred cages - THEY DON'T FREAKING BELONG THERE, IDIOTS. With the latest in 3 dimensional, imagery technology at our finger tips, we do not need animals kept caged up. The ones who can afford to go out, into the wild to see them, can go. Without disturbing them. The ones who cannot, can just STFU, stay home, and watch Animal Planet or Discovery Channel.

If you venture out into the wild, and a tiger eats you, its not the tiger's fault. It is yours. You piss them off, you DESERVE to be eaten. You hunt them into extinction - you deserve to be shot in the knee, both of them if I have my way, and left to suffer out the rest of your pathetic existence.

Oh, and before anyone gets their "Holier than thou" attitudes out of their closets, and rails at me for being a meat-eater, at least I only eat the meat. I do not kill animals to wear them on my feet, I do not skin baby seals to carry a pretty bag. I do not raise animals and then have them clubbed to death so that my jacket can look better. Take your attitude and stuff it up where the sun don't shine. My preference for food, is not the same as death for vanity.

This frustration has been building for so long, I begin to see where crazed killers get their inspiration from... my only thought is, why the hell can't we pick on someone our own size... an elephant does not have an automatic rifle... a tiger does not have a machine gun... a whale does not have clippers to get itself out of a net.

Animals do not kill other animals for personal gain. They do not rape their children. If an adult in the herd dies, the rest of the herd adopts any orphans left behind. Animals do not hold other animals hostage. Animals do not invade other animals' territories for oil, minerals or precious stones. Animals do not call us animals. Maybe they should.

Who are really the animals here?

Randomness strikes in the middle of the day

I watched that movie again... you know.. the old guys, one of whom dies, but not the one you thinking of...
And it got me thinking.. we all have those things to do that we never get around to.
So I am making my list now. And will probably keep updating it every little while.

1. I want to go skydiving. Not the pansy kind, but something crazy, somewhere in NZ hopefully.

2. Same goes for bungee jumping, parasailing and (dont tell anyone) but BASE jumping. I might be terrified of open heights, but I want to be extremist about getting over it.

3. Disappear. For a week. No cell phones, no email, no FB (although I cant imagine that right now) No contact whatsoever.

4. I want to go to a supermarket and pretend to be a foreign national and speak in gibberish and pretend not to understand a word they are saying.

5. I want to walk across Brooklyn Bridge again. At Sunset. (its not suicidal if you carry mace) but I want to walk it with you.

6. Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, Venice and Rome.

7. Learn another language.

8. Play a practical joke on someone in a public place.

9. Talk all night and watch the sun rise. Either a Beach or a Summit will do.

10. Figure out why it is so hard to write down a bunch of things you want to do.

11. Write and receive a Love Letter. The Pen and Paper kind.

12. Run a Marathon, even a half marathon.

13. Get over my irrational dislike for the Number 13.

14. Someday, update this list.

Saga of a Female Driver

I am now officially, that which is feared most, on the parody that is Indian Roads during Rush Hour. I am a female driver. Bwahahahahahhahaaa.
Oh and to make matters worse, I still have my big, red, L board up. I refuse to remove it, as I am convinced that the mere presence of it adds to my "Come near me and I will bash you" on-road image.

On a more serious note, comments telling me that the worst drivers on the road are women, will be dealt with swiftly and fatally. The next time you want to bitch about Bad drivers, how about you just stick to the comment that Idiots are bad drivers - regardless of gender. If you don't agree, then too bad. My Blog - My Rant.

Someone I was speaking to the other day, when discussing my adventures while driving to work, asked me if I was putting these up on my blog, which is when I remembered how long it has been since I blogged. So here we go... expect more updates on my many, many, adventurous, episodes while en route to work every morning. My daily 25 kms commute provides me with much fodder for the blogosphere...

For those of you who have religiously reminded me about updating - Thank you for your patience. You know I love you :D