OMG! I''m Telekinetic !!!

So there I was, driving to work, like any other day in the week. Late as usual and swearing a blue streak at every idiot who did something stupid to delay me further. I was just pulling away from a signal and this old geriatric decided to be Rossi for the day and swerves right across my lane. I was so angry I could have killed him myself, but just as I shrieked an inarticulate curse at him, his bike just shut off. I mean died completely. Right in the middle of the road. Deciding that the Gods chose today to smile upon me, I grinned smugly to myself and carried on my not-so-merry way.
A bit further on, and another cretin takes it upon himself to hurl his shiny new car right past me, trying to make the signal before everyone else. Dumbass. Again, my curses barely left my lips when BANG! his tire blew. At this point I am looking around warily, because my car is practically soundproof. You can't hear my swearing unless you are in my car, so I decided that whoever was listening to the evil things I was wishing on these fools, was of a different auditory persuasion.
Calming myself down, I was in the home-stretch when an Auto - as all motorists know, are the bane of anyone's existence - drives right across my path, meaning I need to slam on the brakes to avoid killing the wa***r, when CRASH! a huge branch from above, just comes crashing down onto the back of the auto, going right through whatever fabric they use to cover the passengers. Thankfully, there seemed to be no passengers at that point.
It was right about this time when I decided the collective goings-on of that drive to office was enough to spook me, and I ran for the proverbial hills. I got to office, snuck into my desk, as if I was afraid someone would blame me for all of that happening. And then spent an hour in quiet reflection. OMG, what if I really was Telekinetic... I would never have to do much of anything again. With the arrival of my coffee, came reality as well.

Oh well, if those were all just coincidences, then at least I was amused for just that little bit of time. It didn't help that my colleague to whom I told my terrifying tale, laughed like a loon and then asked if I would mind cursing a few people he would point out. Hmph.

Hi, my name is Monday.

Hi there, I am Monday.
I have to post this remotely as I am probably more hated than former President Bush. The owner of this blog had "Meh rhymes with Monday" as her status on Facebook a few weeks ago and the number of 'likes' and comments in agreement convinced me to speak out. You guys should actually feel sorry for me you know. Sad, even. I mean really, I am hated simply for existing, for BEING. I did not choose to be the day you had to drag your lazy behinds out of bed, sans the snooze button and head off to the torture chambers...er offices.
Some days have it easy... like Friday for instance. You have this whole TGIFriday's thingy going on. Like WTH man. Saturdays have it even better... I don't see a Monday Night Fever on www.imdb.com now, do you? (I don't WANT to be the worst day of the week. I also do not particularly appreciate the 'Black' prefix or the 'blues' suffix.) And don't even get me started on Sundays. Hmph.
You see, this is the theory you should be taking a look at - Tuesdays are the worst days in the Week. Mondays at least have the memories of a happy weekend, Tuesdays have NOTHING, Wednesdays let you know that you are at least half-way through, Thursdays you can take relief in the fact that the next day is Friday and Friday is...well... Friday. So give me a chance yeah?
"Some days are made horrible and some days have horrible-ness thrust upon them" With that bastardization of someone else's oft stolen quote, I leave you to your hopeful hatred of the next day in the week. Hopefully the smug smile will be wiped off his face this year when we are at the Calendar printer's.

One of those days...

Bugger. Bugger. Bugger.
This day has driven me insane and up the wall… not necessarily in that order. But I have a plan that would make an evil genius proud. Let the universe conspire against me. I shall conspire against it. Bwhahahahaaaa. Err ok… so that might be me overdoing it. Oh I don’t care anyway.
I have MPD and one of those people has OCD or so she has told me… many times. 
Then again, I used to think these mad bouts of mine were something to hide. Why? Because I was always wondering if it was ok to be a little crazy now and then.
Until I was told that this could be a trait that a few people might find not so bad. Nice even. And then it hit me. I was always so busy trying to be propah and all that jazz that I almost committed the biggest crime ever. Changing into someone else. Shudder in horror.
I want to be me again. I want to listen to music that drives my neighbours insane. I want to wear my ancient sweatshirt with Tom & Jerry on it and eat a tub of ice-cream while watching FRIENDS on tv. I want to yell at people being mean to the waiter at the restaurant.
I want to be who I used to be until I mistakenly thought I needed to change. Now I know I don’t need to do squat. I just need to be happy with who I am. That is not going to happen until I leave things be and stop picking apart my own thoughts, actions and reasoning behind it. I don’t need the reasoning, I don’t need the justification and I sure as hell do not need your approval or validation. So don’t wait around for me to tell you what you can do with it.
This is me. Deal with it. If you want to.

An Exercise in Insanity

Rant, Rave, Kick and scream... That usually sums up my bad moods.. and those are the bad moods not even concerned with pms. (sigh) But still.. isn'nt it quite unexplained to go through these things now and then.. You are in a bad mood and you have no clue why.. it could be the lack of sleep.. or the many pegs of alcohol.. but i am guessing its th former.. the latter only gives you a head ache and ends there.. and then there are dear friends who turn out to be suffering from that most dreaded of diseases "love of mornings" BAH !!! How can anything before noon be tolerable. I mean I do actually wake up and go about daily business in the a.m. but no one says i have to be happy about it...

I live with someone who is a morning person.. and a really nice one too... she is nice because she has recognised me for a not so morning person and refrains from any kind of acknowledgement of existence in th pre-noon session of my day. Very reasonable dont u think ? As for the other people i live with.. Please note that while i only have 2 roomies i suspect one of us is suffering from MPD.. and I am NOT sayin who.. o well..

Oh really now

Another day another tantrum... What is it about the male species (yes they are another species) that makes one want to hug them one second and throttle them the next. Bah ! And they actually have the gall to call women "hard to understand". Boy o Boy.. they happen to be so much worse. If you think PMS is complicated then i don't have a clue on figuring out men's mood swings. They all crazy and incompetent.. and if you are a male reading this i am betting you didnt notice the grammatical mistake i just made. If you are not male however chances are you spotted it. Which leads me to my next point of irritation. Men's lack of attention to detail.
This might seem to you like one long senseless rant against the male kingdom.. and you would be absolutely right. They are insensitive, silly, petty children who need to be petted and pampered by their mommies at all times.. but wait a minute.. i forgot about the other things that annoy me. The way they can smile to make your heart melt when you just about ready to turn the knife. The way they do random cute things that make you go "awwwwww" and then just as soon they drive you absolutely insane with their idiotic ideas..
I am fed up of them and their silliness and i am fed up of caring about them until my insides feel bled dry. Caring is one thing... letting them drive you to homicidal thoughts is quite another. And even then.. when you threaten them with bodily harm for even one more act of complete and utter nonsensical proportions they smile adorably and offer a cheek to slap or a shoulder to cry on.. unfailingly the right choice no matter what the situation.
I guess what they say about women is just as true for them too... "You can't live with them and you can't live without them"

No Good Deed...

It really is true what "they " say... No Good deed goes unpunished. Do something nice for someone and You can rest assured its going to come back and bite you in the ass. (please excuse my French) I apologize profusely - NOT!!!

I have learn't the hard way that to be nice to people is to earn their undying indifference. Be a Bitch with a capital B and they will adore you and worship the ground you walk on. Willing to take a jump off the zillionth floor of a building if you so much as wished it. I speak from experience. I have seen people go from normal beings to crazed maniacs just for that special someone's approval.

Referring to my first paragraph. Just who the hell are the all knowing and all powerful "they" anyway. How do they know everything and why are they so willing to share their complete knowledge of the damned universe and yet are completely anonymous. In my opinion, you keep paying attention to what some unknown "they" entity tell you... you are going to end up in a whole lot of crap... again excuse my French... At this point, if you don't, I wouldn't really expect tears of remorse from me. You could probably hold your breath till you were blue in the face and all I would do would be to probably laugh at you. and with a g too... like this...
Gwahahahhahahahaha...

For you see my love, I, in the words of the ever suave and charming Rhett Butler, quite frankly don't give a damn. Give me my walking shoes and a good song on my ipod and I really could care less what you wanted from me. I would turn up the volume and tell you to take a really long walk off a really short pier. And then I would run to the edge of the same pier and laugh at you wallowing in the knee deep water because you forgot the tide was out. (insert my laugh with a g right here)

So the next time you have absolutely asinine behavior planned, let me know in advance... So I can practice flipping you the bird and telling you to bite me !