Saga of a Female Driver

I am now officially, that which is feared most, on the parody that is Indian Roads during Rush Hour. I am a female driver. Bwahahahahahhahaaa.
Oh and to make matters worse, I still have my big, red, L board up. I refuse to remove it, as I am convinced that the mere presence of it adds to my "Come near me and I will bash you" on-road image.

On a more serious note, comments telling me that the worst drivers on the road are women, will be dealt with swiftly and fatally. The next time you want to bitch about Bad drivers, how about you just stick to the comment that Idiots are bad drivers - regardless of gender. If you don't agree, then too bad. My Blog - My Rant.

Someone I was speaking to the other day, when discussing my adventures while driving to work, asked me if I was putting these up on my blog, which is when I remembered how long it has been since I blogged. So here we go... expect more updates on my many, many, adventurous, episodes while en route to work every morning. My daily 25 kms commute provides me with much fodder for the blogosphere...

For those of you who have religiously reminded me about updating - Thank you for your patience. You know I love you :D

Boo! Guess who?

(dodges rotten tomatoes being thrown)
I am back again... after a long long long hiatus from a hiatus...
I have seen quite a few changes in the past few weeks and now that the dregs have settled, the itch to write something is back again... but what to write.. what to write... hmmmmmm...
I was reading through my previous posts and the underlying theme... ok so maybe its not so underlying after all... seems to be my sarcastic view of a situation, people, etc. but then I realized that this is why I blog.
Here, cloaked in complete anonymity, is my private little rant space for all those imbeciles who cross my path, and the best part is I get to share this with you, so you too can read and enjoy my little, albeit infrequent, anecdotes about the group of people who have the collective IQ of a goldfish (I hereby shamelessly steal this priceless quote from a friend and promise to parrot it everytime I think the situation warrants it)

Quitters are Winners too...

Everyone has heard/quote the too often heard/quoted "Quitters Never Win" but I beg to differ at this point.
I quit. A while ago.
Smoking that is, and honestly, I have never felt like a bigger winner.
I was never a chronic member of that club anyway. Just a social one with a few on the side at times. I admit this is why it could have been easy for me. But that is not what this post is about. This is about the hypocrites who quit smoking and then get sanctimonious enough to throw their "holier than thou" attitude around. If someone who has never smoked in their life, attempts to tell you that its bad for you, you owe them a listen at least, because they probably have your best interests at heart. But when someone who supported a pack a day habit, FINALLY quits and then attempts to nag you to do so too, it completely justifies your desire to bash them over the head with something breakable.
Do NOT attempt to tell me its bad for me. I know, and so did you. Do NOT convince me that I am killing myself. Again, I am aware of how bad it is for me. YOU used to smoke triple the number I did and now that you have survived 2 weeks without it, it does not make you a damned expert on quitting.
When I quit, I did it without the fanfare and drama you caused. I did not claim imminent death if deprived of nicotine for another second. You could attribute that to the fact that you were more used to it than I was, but you had cut down so much before you attempted to quit, that it makes no difference really. So stopping your preaching would be much appreciated. Your phone calls about how quitting has changed your life does nothing but annoy other people (gasp in shock) Yeah I am not the only one you annoy with this, Natalie called me.
End of story.
When you decide something is bad for you or not working and you give it up, go ahead. You are welcome to give your friends your opinion, but keep nagging them to stop doing something that you were doing a week ago, and somebody gonna get a hurt real bad. Hypocrites do not get that much love. So hah to you, and while we are still friends, I would just like to remind you that you are smoking again. Way to stick to your decisions, real mature like. Now we all know how you stick to the choices you make in life as well. Get over yourself. You are not the poster-child for the rest of us. Neither am I, but I never claimed to be.

An Exercise in Insanity

Rant, Rave, Kick and scream... That usually sums up my bad moods.. and those are the bad moods not even concerned with pms. (sigh) But still.. isn'nt it quite unexplained to go through these things now and then.. You are in a bad mood and you have no clue why.. it could be the lack of sleep.. or the many pegs of alcohol.. but i am guessing its th former.. the latter only gives you a head ache and ends there.. and then there are dear friends who turn out to be suffering from that most dreaded of diseases "love of mornings" BAH !!! How can anything before noon be tolerable. I mean I do actually wake up and go about daily business in the a.m. but no one says i have to be happy about it...

I live with someone who is a morning person.. and a really nice one too... she is nice because she has recognised me for a not so morning person and refrains from any kind of acknowledgement of existence in th pre-noon session of my day. Very reasonable dont u think ? As for the other people i live with.. Please note that while i only have 2 roomies i suspect one of us is suffering from MPD.. and I am NOT sayin who.. o well..

Oh really now

Another day another tantrum... What is it about the male species (yes they are another species) that makes one want to hug them one second and throttle them the next. Bah ! And they actually have the gall to call women "hard to understand". Boy o Boy.. they happen to be so much worse. If you think PMS is complicated then i don't have a clue on figuring out men's mood swings. They all crazy and incompetent.. and if you are a male reading this i am betting you didnt notice the grammatical mistake i just made. If you are not male however chances are you spotted it. Which leads me to my next point of irritation. Men's lack of attention to detail.
This might seem to you like one long senseless rant against the male kingdom.. and you would be absolutely right. They are insensitive, silly, petty children who need to be petted and pampered by their mommies at all times.. but wait a minute.. i forgot about the other things that annoy me. The way they can smile to make your heart melt when you just about ready to turn the knife. The way they do random cute things that make you go "awwwwww" and then just as soon they drive you absolutely insane with their idiotic ideas..
I am fed up of them and their silliness and i am fed up of caring about them until my insides feel bled dry. Caring is one thing... letting them drive you to homicidal thoughts is quite another. And even then.. when you threaten them with bodily harm for even one more act of complete and utter nonsensical proportions they smile adorably and offer a cheek to slap or a shoulder to cry on.. unfailingly the right choice no matter what the situation.
I guess what they say about women is just as true for them too... "You can't live with them and you can't live without them"

No Good Deed...

It really is true what "they " say... No Good deed goes unpunished. Do something nice for someone and You can rest assured its going to come back and bite you in the ass. (please excuse my French) I apologize profusely - NOT!!!

I have learn't the hard way that to be nice to people is to earn their undying indifference. Be a Bitch with a capital B and they will adore you and worship the ground you walk on. Willing to take a jump off the zillionth floor of a building if you so much as wished it. I speak from experience. I have seen people go from normal beings to crazed maniacs just for that special someone's approval.

Referring to my first paragraph. Just who the hell are the all knowing and all powerful "they" anyway. How do they know everything and why are they so willing to share their complete knowledge of the damned universe and yet are completely anonymous. In my opinion, you keep paying attention to what some unknown "they" entity tell you... you are going to end up in a whole lot of crap... again excuse my French... At this point, if you don't, I wouldn't really expect tears of remorse from me. You could probably hold your breath till you were blue in the face and all I would do would be to probably laugh at you. and with a g too... like this...
Gwahahahhahahahaha...

For you see my love, I, in the words of the ever suave and charming Rhett Butler, quite frankly don't give a damn. Give me my walking shoes and a good song on my ipod and I really could care less what you wanted from me. I would turn up the volume and tell you to take a really long walk off a really short pier. And then I would run to the edge of the same pier and laugh at you wallowing in the knee deep water because you forgot the tide was out. (insert my laugh with a g right here)

So the next time you have absolutely asinine behavior planned, let me know in advance... So I can practice flipping you the bird and telling you to bite me !