... and they lived happily ever after!

The white knight rides up to the castle, defeats the dragon that has killed countless others, without a scratch, might I add, and then rides off into the sunset with the princess he has rescued. What happens then?
He is a man and she is, hopefully, a woman. There is going to be trouble, there is going to be mayhem and once the kiddies arrive, general chaos. Life in the ever after part of the fairy tale is a load of crap. There is no happily ever after. Maybe I am cynical. It’s my old age I tell you. At 22 I feel ancient. Being called an old soul does not help. You are 40 years my senior and a little drunk. How do you know who I am and what I think of the world? Also, if you do know, kindly keep your opinions to yourself. I appreciate your blinding honesty. I know I have worked a little too hard these past two weeks. You telling me I look like hell does NOT help. How in the hell did you ever think it would?
I digress, as usual, now where was I?
Ah, yes, the absolute crap that hallmark sells – the “happily ever after” Bah Humbug, I say. Do you think that every single person who has subscribed to this school of thought has never realized at some point, that they wish the white knight’s, freakin, blindingly white horse would just run over the smug bastard who has probably never had a bad hair day on account of being the damned white knight.
This is probably why I am still dating the princes of darkness that seem to cross my path with unfailing regularity. Then why is it that even they seem to be chivalrous enough to be there for you when the damned white knight is off signing autographs in fairy-tale land? (Shrek seems to have influenced my mental image of what the land of fairy tales might look like.) oh well. I guess they will do. But what do I do when one day I think I might prefer the chivalrous darkness to the blinding light that could just about overpower me?

That is something I think I will figure out in my own sweet time… and not a damned moment sooner!

No Good Deed...

It really is true what "they " say... No Good deed goes unpunished. Do something nice for someone and You can rest assured its going to come back and bite you in the ass. (please excuse my French) I apologize profusely - NOT!!!

I have learn't the hard way that to be nice to people is to earn their undying indifference. Be a Bitch with a capital B and they will adore you and worship the ground you walk on. Willing to take a jump off the zillionth floor of a building if you so much as wished it. I speak from experience. I have seen people go from normal beings to crazed maniacs just for that special someone's approval.

Referring to my first paragraph. Just who the hell are the all knowing and all powerful "they" anyway. How do they know everything and why are they so willing to share their complete knowledge of the damned universe and yet are completely anonymous. In my opinion, you keep paying attention to what some unknown "they" entity tell you... you are going to end up in a whole lot of crap... again excuse my French... At this point, if you don't, I wouldn't really expect tears of remorse from me. You could probably hold your breath till you were blue in the face and all I would do would be to probably laugh at you. and with a g too... like this...
Gwahahahhahahahaha...

For you see my love, I, in the words of the ever suave and charming Rhett Butler, quite frankly don't give a damn. Give me my walking shoes and a good song on my ipod and I really could care less what you wanted from me. I would turn up the volume and tell you to take a really long walk off a really short pier. And then I would run to the edge of the same pier and laugh at you wallowing in the knee deep water because you forgot the tide was out. (insert my laugh with a g right here)

So the next time you have absolutely asinine behavior planned, let me know in advance... So I can practice flipping you the bird and telling you to bite me !