A Letter to You...

I like late night conversations. The madness that results the next day from my sleepiness is just an added bonus to someone like me who just appreciates chaos where they can find it. I was told that there was this Greek Goddess who made it her immortal life’s work to cause chaos wherever she could. Now that sounds like the perfect job to me. I cause it even when I am not really trying. Can you just imagine what it would be like if I actually put in any effort?
Again, I digress. I do it all the time. It reinforces my mantra of chaos!
Back to the topic at hand. Late night conversations. I like them. I like having them. With you especially. We talk about everything from existentialism to the reasons for insecurity. From bad coffee to unexpected visitors at 6 a.m.
From embarrassments to crowning glories. Walnuts to Harry potter.
That seems to be the broadest spectrum I have ever come across. For a while at least. I have known you for just a while, however I find it so easy to tell you just about anything that crosses my mind. A friend said it is the rarest thing to find people you can be yourself around. I am glad I can be me around you. I hope you feel the same way. You get me. Mad teapot songs and all. I like that.
Its funny, how knowing someone for years, doesn’t necessarily mean that you can be completely comfortable around them. It might be your best friend. It might be your family. But then there are those few and far betweens, that you can just be around and not have to double check what you are saying. You can just be. Plain and simple.
Just be.

The Sleepy Teapot

I am a little teapot and I like it.
I am quirky and occasionally insane.
I enjoy it.
I am narcissistic. It has served me well.
It has made me appreciate me.
I am self obsessed.
I am upset when you don’t see it. I am not upset if you don’t like it.
I like being this person that no one has ever really figured out.
I like being me.
It’s who I am. It’s who I always will be.
Most importantly, it’s who I want to be.

One of those days...

Bugger. Bugger. Bugger.
This day has driven me insane and up the wall… not necessarily in that order. But I have a plan that would make an evil genius proud. Let the universe conspire against me. I shall conspire against it. Bwhahahahaaaa. Err ok… so that might be me overdoing it. Oh I don’t care anyway.
I have MPD and one of those people has OCD or so she has told me… many times. 
Then again, I used to think these mad bouts of mine were something to hide. Why? Because I was always wondering if it was ok to be a little crazy now and then.
Until I was told that this could be a trait that a few people might find not so bad. Nice even. And then it hit me. I was always so busy trying to be propah and all that jazz that I almost committed the biggest crime ever. Changing into someone else. Shudder in horror.
I want to be me again. I want to listen to music that drives my neighbours insane. I want to wear my ancient sweatshirt with Tom & Jerry on it and eat a tub of ice-cream while watching FRIENDS on tv. I want to yell at people being mean to the waiter at the restaurant.
I want to be who I used to be until I mistakenly thought I needed to change. Now I know I don’t need to do squat. I just need to be happy with who I am. That is not going to happen until I leave things be and stop picking apart my own thoughts, actions and reasoning behind it. I don’t need the reasoning, I don’t need the justification and I sure as hell do not need your approval or validation. So don’t wait around for me to tell you what you can do with it.
This is me. Deal with it. If you want to.